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	<title>The Larely Beagle - The Community Newspaper of Larely, California &#187; UC Larely</title>
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		<title>Unused Trial Hours from AOL Discs in Landfills Now Contaminating Nation’s Drinking Water</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/08/13/unused-free-trial-hours-from-aol-discs-in-landfills-contaminating-nations-drinking-water/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/08/13/unused-free-trial-hours-from-aol-discs-in-landfills-contaminating-nations-drinking-water/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Aug 2009 06:55:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AOL]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Drinking Water]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Internet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Landfill]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pollution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prodigy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Superfund]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Time Warner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1710</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – A study completed by UC Larely’s Chemistry Department yielded alarming results when it was discovered that drinking water all over America is being contaminated by the unused free trial hours from AOL discs. The discs, which were very heavily distributed to the American population during the late 1990’s and early 2000’s, offered [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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		<title>Jon Bon Jovi Cited by Larely Police for Carrying Loaded Six String</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/23/jon-bon-jovi-cited-by-larely-police-for-carrying-loaded-six-string/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/23/jon-bon-jovi-cited-by-larely-police-for-carrying-loaded-six-string/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Jul 2009 08:14:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chad Haskell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[80's Rock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bomb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bon Jovi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Concert]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Mayor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Police]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sean McKay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vern Bixler]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1571</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – The world of rock and roll collided with the city of Larely today when rock icon Jon Bon Jovi received a citation from the Larely Police Department for carrying a loaded six string, which was turned up following a search off his tour bus. Bon Jovi, the band fronted by Jon, is [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/23/jon-bon-jovi-cited-by-larely-police-for-carrying-loaded-six-string/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Study: After Two Drinks, Girls Mysteriously Know All Words to Eazy-E’s “Gimmie That Nutt”</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/16/study-after-2-drinks-girls-mysteriously-know-all-words-to-eazy-e-gimmie-that-nutt/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/16/study-after-2-drinks-girls-mysteriously-know-all-words-to-eazy-e-gimmie-that-nutt/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2009 08:32:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alcohol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Eazy-E]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rap Music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Study]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1532</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – In a study initially intended to gauge young women’s opinions toward misogynistic rap songs before and after alcohol consumption, a professor at UC-Larely seems to have accidentally stumbled upon a mysterious phenomenon that she is unable to explain. Apparently, after a girl has two drinks, she suddenly and mysteriously knows all the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/16/study-after-2-drinks-girls-mysteriously-know-all-words-to-eazy-e-gimmie-that-nutt/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Opinion: It’s About Time America Had its First Female Supreme Court Justice</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/28/opinion-it%e2%80%99s-about-time-america-had-its-first-female-supreme-court-justice/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/28/opinion-it%e2%80%99s-about-time-america-had-its-first-female-supreme-court-justice/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 May 2009 07:57:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Toddrick Powell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Opinion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Equality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sonia Sotomayor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Supreme Court]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1364</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When I first set up my law practice in Larely, a lot of my DUI defendants would ask me, “Toddrick, do you think there will ever be a female justice on the Supreme Court?” No matter how many times I was asked this question, I always wanted to answer “yes”, but I hesitated because I [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/28/opinion-it%e2%80%99s-about-time-america-had-its-first-female-supreme-court-justice/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Spread Eagle Named Official City Bird of Larely</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/21/spread-eagle-named-official-city-bird-of-larely/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/21/spread-eagle-named-official-city-bird-of-larely/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2009 06:27:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bird Flu]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Mall]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Mayor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vern Bixler]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1321</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – Larely residents who packed the atrium of Triplet Pines Mall today for mayor Bixler’s announcement of Larely’s new official city bird were treated to a pleasant surprise today when it was revealed that the spread eagle had won the contest. The announcement was eagerly awaited by nearly all Larely residents and concludes [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/21/spread-eagle-named-official-city-bird-of-larely/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Bob Dylan-Stuck in the Middle With You.mp3 Reaches One Billion Downloads</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/14/bob-dylan-stuck-in-the-middle-with-you-mp3-reaches-one-billion-downloads/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/14/bob-dylan-stuck-in-the-middle-with-you-mp3-reaches-one-billion-downloads/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 May 2009 08:18:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bob Dylan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mp3]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Music Downloading]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RIAA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1232</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Pioneer Hall, UC-Larely, Larely, CA – In an event which places it in the mp3 pantheon with heavy hitters like “The Who-Teenage Wasteland.mp3 and Phish-Gin-n-Juice.mp3, Bob Dylan-Stuck in the Middle With You.mp3 reached one billion downloads earlier today. The feat was accomplished by Chris Sweeney, a freshman at UC-Larely, who, during an afternoon of searching [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/14/bob-dylan-stuck-in-the-middle-with-you-mp3-reaches-one-billion-downloads/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Al Gore Warns that at Current Pace, All Mana Will Be Tapped By Year 2030</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/04/23/al-gore-warns-that-at-current-pace-all-mana-will-be-tapped-by-year-2030/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/04/23/al-gore-warns-that-at-current-pace-all-mana-will-be-tapped-by-year-2030/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 06:49:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wally Hayes</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[World]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Al Gore]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Earth Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Magic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mana]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RPG]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1138</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Washington, D.C. – Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore stirred up another environmental controversy yesterday when, during a speech commemorating Earth Day, he revealed that at the current pace, all mana on Earth would be tapped by the year 2030. Gore, who has long warned the world of the global warming crisis, gave an elaborate [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/04/23/al-gore-warns-that-at-current-pace-all-mana-will-be-tapped-by-year-2030/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Chemist Finally Perfects New Drug for Huey Lewis</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/22/chemist-finally-perfects-new-drug-for-huey-lewis/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/22/chemist-finally-perfects-new-drug-for-huey-lewis/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2009 08:40:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[80's Rock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chemistry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Drugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Huey Lewis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=963</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[After nearly 25 years of painstaking research and development, a UC-Larely Chemistry Professor has finally perfected a new drug for Huey Lewis. The professor, Dr. Charles Osborne hailed the finding as “realizing his life’s dream”. The project was put into action in February of 1984, when Osborne first heard Huey’s song “I Want a New [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/22/chemist-finally-perfects-new-drug-for-huey-lewis/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Study: Pontiac Fiero Totally Makes Chicks Wet!</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/22/study-pontiac-fiero-totally-makes-chicks-wet/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/22/study-pontiac-fiero-totally-makes-chicks-wet/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2009 08:39:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fiero]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pontiac]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=967</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – The Biology Department of UC-Larely made headlines today when Professor Mary Sontenberg released her study that found, without a shred of doubt, that Pontiac Fieros have the ability to totally make chicks wet. The Pontiac Fiero, which was manufactured from 1984 to 1988, has long been rumored to hold a special power [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/22/study-pontiac-fiero-totally-makes-chicks-wet/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Animal Planet to Debut Soap Opera for Stay-at-Home Pets</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/12/03/animal-planet-to-debut-soap-opera-for-stay-at-home-pets/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/12/03/animal-planet-to-debut-soap-opera-for-stay-at-home-pets/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:27:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Television]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Animal Planet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FCC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Soap Opera]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=683</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Silver Spring, MD – Cable television network Animal Planet announced today that they will soon be debuting a Soap Opera intended for Stay-at-Home pets. The show, titled “Animal Instincts”, will focus on the fictional Salazar family, a powerful family of Black Labradors that are considered to be royalty and have a far reaching influence in [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/12/03/animal-planet-to-debut-soap-opera-for-stay-at-home-pets/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>UC-Larely Professors Collaborate to Prove it&#8217;s Impossible for Softcore Porn Positions to Result in Penetration</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/10/08/uc-larely-physics-geometry-and-biology-professors-collaborate-to-prove/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/10/08/uc-larely-physics-geometry-and-biology-professors-collaborate-to-prove/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Oct 2008 03:14:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Movies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Adult Film Industry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Softcore]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=288</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – In an unprecedented showing of inter-departmental collaboration, professors from UC-Larely’s Geometry, Physics, and Biology Departments have recently completed a six month long study that proves it impossible for the sex positions found in softcore porn to result in actual penetration. The team, which consisted of Hans Alfredsson (physics), Walter McGreavy (geometry), and [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/10/08/uc-larely-physics-geometry-and-biology-professors-collaborate-to-prove/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Botanists Mystified by Abundance of Red Ferns on Old Michael Vick Property</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/09/22/botanists-mystified-by-abundance-of-red-ferns-on-old-michael-vick-property/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/09/22/botanists-mystified-by-abundance-of-red-ferns-on-old-michael-vick-property/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Sep 2008 04:20:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Beagle Hall of Fame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dogs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michael Vick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NFL]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Where the Red Fern Grows]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=131</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Surrey, VA. &#8211; In an effort to solve a strange, real life botanical mystery, botanists have flocked to the property previously owned by Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick to try and figure out what could be causing an abundance of red ferns to be growing on the property. The ferns, typically native to South America, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/09/22/botanists-mystified-by-abundance-of-red-ferns-on-old-michael-vick-property/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Chimp Locked in Room with Guitar for One Hour Teaches Self &#8220;Santa Monica&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/09/22/chimp-locked-in-room-with-guitar-for-one-hour-teaches-self-santa-monica/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/09/22/chimp-locked-in-room-with-guitar-for-one-hour-teaches-self-santa-monica/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Sep 2008 03:39:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[90's Rock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chimp]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Everclear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Santa Monica]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=107</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA &#8211; Researchers at the University of California-Larely&#8217;s Primate Research Laboratory are celebrating today after accidentally making their largest breakthrough to date in their research of intelligence in chimpanzees. The breakthrough occurred when Cuddles, a twenty-two year old bonobo chimp, became locked in a room with a guitar, and was able to successfully teach [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/09/22/chimp-locked-in-room-with-guitar-for-one-hour-teaches-self-santa-monica/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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