Larely, CA – A study completed by UC Larely’s Chemistry Department yielded alarming results when it was discovered that drinking water all over America is being contaminated by the unused free trial hours from AOL discs.
Larely, CA – The world of rock and roll collided with the city of Larely today when rock icon Jon Bon Jovi received a citation from the Larely Police Department for carrying a loaded six string, which was turned up following a search off his tour bus.
Larely, CA – In a study initially intended to gauge young women’s opinions toward misogynistic rap songs before and after alcohol consumption, a professor at UC-Larely seems to have accidentally stumbled upon a mysterious phenomenon that she is unable to explain.
When I first set up my law practice in Larely, a lot of my DUI defendants would ask me, “Toddrick, do you think there will ever be a female justice on the Supreme Court?” No matter how many times I was asked this question, I always wanted to answer “yes”, but I hesitated because I [...]
Larely, CA – Larely residents who packed the atrium of Triplet Pines Mall today for mayor Bixler’s announcement of Larely’s new official city bird were treated to a pleasant surprise today when it was revealed that the spread eagle had won the contest.
Pioneer Hall, UC-Larely, Larely, CA – In an event which places it in the mp3 pantheon with heavy hitters like “The Who-Teenage Wasteland.mp3 and Phish-Gin-n-Juice.mp3, Bob Dylan-Stuck in the Middle With You.mp3 reached one billion downloads earlier today.
Washington, D.C. – Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore stirred up another environmental controversy yesterday when, during a speech commemorating Earth Day, he revealed that at the current pace, all mana on Earth would be tapped by the year 2030.
After nearly 25 years of painstaking research and development, a UC-Larely Chemistry Professor has finally perfected a new drug for Huey Lewis. The professor, Dr. Charles Osborne hailed the finding as “realizing his life’s dream”.
Larely, CA – The Biology Department of UC-Larely made headlines today when Professor Mary Sontenberg released her study that found, without a shred of doubt, that Pontiac Fieros have the ability to totally make chicks wet.
Silver Spring, MD – Cable television network Animal Planet announced today that they will soon be debuting a Soap Opera intended for Stay-at-Home pets.
Larely, CA – In an unprecedented showing of inter-departmental collaboration, professors from UC-Larely’s Geometry, Physics, and Biology Departments have recently completed a six month long study that proves it impossible for the sex positions found in softcore porn to result in actual penetration.
Surrey, VA. – In an effort to solve a strange, real life botanical mystery, botanists have flocked to the property previously owned by Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick to try and figure out what could be causing an abundance of red ferns to be growing on the property.
Larely, CA – Researchers at the University of California-Larely’s Primate Research Laboratory are celebrating today after accidentally making their largest breakthrough to date in their research of intelligence in chimpanzees.
