Baltimore, MD – Jon Gruden, the newest addition to the “Monday Night Football” team of announcers, found himself making his very first announcer related apology today after he accidentally applied the “he’s so well spoken” compliment to a white player.
Philadelphia, PA – With Michael Vick’s recent release from a federal prison in Leavenworth, many advertising executives have been waiting with bated breath to see if any companies out there that would be willing to give the once popular football star a second chance at endorsing products.
As a practicing lawyer and chief legal correspondent for “The Larely Beagle”, a lot of people have asked me my opinion on Donte Stallworth’s recent legal snafu in which he struck and killed a man with his Bentley while driving drunk. They want to know what my personal view of the case is, and also [...]
Minneapolis, MN – In what could signal a growing trend of athletes changing their names, Minnesota Twins All-Star catcher Joe Mauer announced that he has legally changed his first name to “Jock”.
Leavenworth, KS – In a move designed to give Americans a much needed respite from stories about Brett Favre’s possible NFL comeback, former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was released from a federal penitentiary today.
Milwaukee, WI – On the heels of the story that former Green Bay Packer quarterback Brett Favre is thinking about coming out of retirement to play for the Minnesota Vikings, orphanages and foster homes all over Wisconsin are finding themselves inundated with children whose name contains either ‘Brett’ or ‘Favre’.
Bristol, CT – With only three days before the 2009 NFL draft, few people are logging more hours at work these days than Todd McShay. McShay, who is a College Football Insider with the ESPN network, needs to know the incoming class of NFL players like the back of his hand so that he is [...]
Denver, CO – Bars all over Denver are bracing for the upcoming arrival of new Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton, who was recently acquired [along two first round picks] in a trade with the Chicago Bears.
Larely, CA – Comcast cable subscribers in Larely received a heartfelt apology from Comcast CEO Brian Roberts today after an Adult Pay Per View film was accidentally interrupted with footage from the fourth quarter of Sunday’s Super Bowl game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals.
Tampa, FL – The Arizona Cardinals’ hopes to win a Super Bowl title this year were dealt a very serious blow today when starting quarterback Kurt Warner announced that he would be skipping the Super Bowl on Sunday in order to attend church services.
Glendale, AZ – Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb added yet another item to his sparkling NFL resume on Sunday when, after a loss to the Arizona Cardinals, he won his fourth NFC Runner-Up ring.
East Rutherford, NJ – DeAngelo Williams was named MVP of your Fantasy Football Championship and nearly single handedly carried you to the title after he racked up 108 rushing yards and four touchdowns against the New York Giants in week sixteen of the NFL season.
New York, NY – Doctors in the Plaxico Burress shooting case released their first bit of positive news today when they announced that the self-inflicted gunshot wound should drastically improve the embattled wide receiver’s pimp limp.
Dallas, TX – Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo held a meeting with head coach Wade Phillips and offensive coordinator Jason Garrett today to express his desire to create more rushing plays for tight end Jason Witten. After the meeting, Romo met briefly with reporters and said, “When Witten and I have our weekly private meetings [...]
Cleveland, OH – Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn became the center of attention in the Browns’ locker room today after he became extremely angry at a group of reporters, slammed an EAS Myoplex shake and declared the Browns’ season “done”.
The Tour de France bicycle race gained another team for its 2009 race today when they announced that they had reached a team-sponsorship agreement with Puck Technology, the company who manufactures the Original Whizzinator. The Original Whizzinator, which is a product that uses a prosthetic penis to defeat drug tests, has long been looking for [...]
Due to a recent rash of injuries in the defensive secondary and a suspension to CB Adam “Pacman” Jones, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has contacted the North Carolina Prison Board about the possibility of signing Rae Carruth and converting him to a defensive back.
Fresno, CA – In a brewing feud between two former NFL quarterbacks, Dan Marino has admitted that he’s sick and tired of Trent Dilfer sending him pictures of the Super Bowl ring Dilfer won with the Baltimore Ravens in 2001.
Surrey, VA. – In an effort to solve a strange, real life botanical mystery, botanists have flocked to the property previously owned by Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick to try and figure out what could be causing an abundance of red ferns to be growing on the property.
