The Larely Beagle – The Community Newspaper of Larely, California

White Cloud, Heaven – After just three days in heaven, Billy Mays has already made a name for himself after he used Fix It!, the fast action scratch remover to remove a nagging scratch that had been on the pearly gates for years.

Laurentian Abyss, Atlantic Ocean – Planet Earth has found itself in the midst of an environmental crisis today after a freighter ship packed to the gills with a shipment of ShamWows capsized and soaked up the entire Atlantic Ocean.

Chicago, IL – Dr. Jon Marshall made some waves in the nutritional supplement industry today when he became the first medical professional to endorse the new Hydroxycut product, “Snake Oil”.