Washington, D.C. – Looking to raise money after exhausting their $1 billion appropriation, the Car Allowance Rebate System, more commonly known as “Cash for Clunkers” announced that they will now be implementing a “Clunkers for Cash” program that will allow Americans to buy “clunkers” back from the government for their full blue book value.
News outlets spent a lot of time this week covering GM’s announcement that they intend to phase out the Pontiac brand by the end of 2010. Lots of front page ink was devoted to mourning its loss and analyzing what the impact will be for General Motors and the American auto industry. However, if you [...]
Outside the Tasty Freeze, Heartland, USA – In a depressing sign of just how bad the economy has gotten, John Mellencamp announced today that these current economic times are just too depressing for even him to sing about.
Larely, CA – The Select Comfort mattress company announced today that they will soon begin selling their widely successful Sleep Number beds in a racecar model.
Larely, CA – The Biology Department of UC-Larely made headlines today when Professor Mary Sontenberg released her study that found, without a shred of doubt, that Pontiac Fieros have the ability to totally make chicks wet.
Detroit, MI – Designers at General Motors announced today that they are working hard on developing a new car that will run entirely on burning $100 bills.
Larely, CA – By all appearances, Evan Norris is a completely average six year old. He loves dinosaurs, wants to be a fireman or an astronaut when he grows up, and he still occasionally wets the bed. However, underneath his average exterior Evan possesses a truly special gift that he frequently calls upon to light [...]
