Columbus, OH – Fast food chain White Castle revealed major renovation plans today when it was announced that they will soon begin installing moats and drawbridges around their 392 locations throughout the United States.
Monterrey, Nuevo León, Mexico – A successful advertising campaign for Dos Equis beer was derailed today when it was announced that their “Most Interesting Man in the World” spokesman was let go after he was photographed wearing Crocs.
As a practicing lawyer and chief legal correspondent for “The Larely Beagle”, a lot of people have asked me my opinion on Donte Stallworth’s recent legal snafu in which he struck and killed a man with his Bentley while driving drunk. They want to know what my personal view of the case is, and also [...]
Larely, CA – Health insurance giant Aetna made big news in Larely today when they announced sweeping changes to their Larely HMO network. In a letter sent to all local members, Aetna Chairman and CEO Ronald Williams wrote that “Effective immediately, our HMO’s will only cover Dr. McGillicuddy.”
Larely, CA – In a study initially intended to gauge young women’s opinions toward misogynistic rap songs before and after alcohol consumption, a professor at UC-Larely seems to have accidentally stumbled upon a mysterious phenomenon that she is unable to explain.
Larely, CA – Faced with the prospect of losing federal highway funds, the city of Larely reluctantly agreed today to lower its legal BAC limit to .25%.
Denver, CO – Bars all over Denver are bracing for the upcoming arrival of new Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton, who was recently acquired [along two first round picks] in a trade with the Chicago Bears.
Golden, CO – The Coors Brewing Company announced today that they will soon begin offering Coors Light in a new “shotgunnable can” that will feature a second tab on its side to allow for easy shotgunning.
Larely, CA – With black Friday upon us once again, Larely’s Boxcar Liquors is stocking up for what is typically its busiest day of the year. As usual, Boxcar Liquors will open at 5AM and will be slashing prices on malt liquor, box wine, ice brewed beer, Boone’s Farm wines, and flavored rubbing alcohols. With [...]
