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	<title>The Larely Beagle - The Community Newspaper of Larely, California &#187; Local News</title>
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		<title>&#8220;Larely Beagle&#8221; Writers&#8217; Strike Ends After Six Long Months</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2010/02/25/larely-beagle-writers-strike-ends/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2010/02/25/larely-beagle-writers-strike-ends/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Feb 2010 07:02:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1824</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, California – A writers&#8217; strike lasting six long months ended today after an agreement was reached between &#8220;Larely Beagle&#8221; writers and its Board of Directors. Though the terms of the agreement are not being made public, it is being widely speculated that the writers caved after being notified that the Board intended on bringing [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2010/02/25/larely-beagle-writers-strike-ends/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Unused Trial Hours from AOL Discs in Landfills Now Contaminating Nation’s Drinking Water</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/08/13/unused-free-trial-hours-from-aol-discs-in-landfills-contaminating-nations-drinking-water/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/08/13/unused-free-trial-hours-from-aol-discs-in-landfills-contaminating-nations-drinking-water/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Aug 2009 06:55:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AOL]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Drinking Water]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Internet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Landfill]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pollution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prodigy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Superfund]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Time Warner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1710</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – A study completed by UC Larely’s Chemistry Department yielded alarming results when it was discovered that drinking water all over America is being contaminated by the unused free trial hours from AOL discs. The discs, which were very heavily distributed to the American population during the late 1990’s and early 2000’s, offered [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/08/13/unused-free-trial-hours-from-aol-discs-in-landfills-contaminating-nations-drinking-water/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Twitter to Start Closing Accounts That Use Poor Grammar</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/30/twitter-to-start-closing-accounts-that-use-poor-grammar/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/30/twitter-to-start-closing-accounts-that-use-poor-grammar/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Jul 2009 07:40:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grammar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NEA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[School]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twitter]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1608</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[San Francisco, CA &#8211; Less than a week after purging a large number of spam accounts, Twitter has now set its sights on the English language, as they announced that effective next week, they will begin deactivating accounts that use poor grammar. According to Twitter founder, Jack Dorsey, “First of all, let me be clear [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/30/twitter-to-start-closing-accounts-that-use-poor-grammar/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Larely HMO’s To Now Only Cover Dr. McGillicuddy</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/23/larely-hmos-to-now-only-cover-dr-mcgillicuddy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/23/larely-hmos-to-now-only-cover-dr-mcgillicuddy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Jul 2009 08:15:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Aetna]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alcohol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dr. McGillicuddy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Health Insurance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healthcare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[HMO]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[St. Elsewhere]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1580</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – Health insurance giant Aetna made big news in Larely today when they announced sweeping changes to their Larely HMO network. In a letter sent to all local members, Aetna Chairman and CEO Ronald Williams wrote that “Effective immediately, our HMO’s will only cover Dr. McGillicuddy.” The decision is expected to save the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/23/larely-hmos-to-now-only-cover-dr-mcgillicuddy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Jon Bon Jovi Cited by Larely Police for Carrying Loaded Six String</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/23/jon-bon-jovi-cited-by-larely-police-for-carrying-loaded-six-string/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/23/jon-bon-jovi-cited-by-larely-police-for-carrying-loaded-six-string/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Jul 2009 08:14:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chad Haskell</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[80's Rock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bomb]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bon Jovi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Concert]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Mayor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Police]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sean McKay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vern Bixler]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1571</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – The world of rock and roll collided with the city of Larely today when rock icon Jon Bon Jovi received a citation from the Larely Police Department for carrying a loaded six string, which was turned up following a search off his tour bus. Bon Jovi, the band fronted by Jon, is [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/23/jon-bon-jovi-cited-by-larely-police-for-carrying-loaded-six-string/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>City of Larely Forced to Lower B.A.C. Limit to .25%</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/16/city-of-larely-forced-to-lower-bac-limit/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/16/city-of-larely-forced-to-lower-bac-limit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2009 08:31:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alcohol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Mayor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Police]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rich Rundell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vern Bixler]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1521</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – Faced with the prospect of losing federal highway funds, the city of Larely reluctantly agreed today to lower its legal BAC limit to .25%. The change is the first made to Larely’s BAC Limits since 1990, when newly elected mayor Rich Rundell increased it from .1% to .3% on his first day [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/07/16/city-of-larely-forced-to-lower-bac-limit/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>&#8220;C-A-T&#8221; Again Good Enough to Capture Larely Spelling Bee Title</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/06/25/cat-again-good-enough-to-capture-larely-spelling-bee-title/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/06/25/cat-again-good-enough-to-capture-larely-spelling-bee-title/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Jun 2009 08:50:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Mayor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[School]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[School District]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spelling Bee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vern Bixler]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1419</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – For the third time in the last five years, the word “C-A-T” proved good enough to bring home the Larely Spelling Bee title. After nearly five hours of competition, this year’s winner, Jacob Kenny was able to correctly spell the word and bring the title back to Erik Estrada Elementary, one of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/06/25/cat-again-good-enough-to-capture-larely-spelling-bee-title/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Larely Outsources 911 Call Center to India</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/28/larely-outsources-911-call-center-to-india/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/28/larely-outsources-911-call-center-to-india/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 May 2009 07:57:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[911]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crime]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[India]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Mayor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Outsourcing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vern Bixler]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1358</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – In a move that is slated to save the city of Larely up to $5 million a year, Mayor Vern Bixler announced today that Larely’s 911 call center has been outsourced to Calcutta, India. Bixler hailed the decision saying, “This is a great day for the city of Larely. The 911 call [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/28/larely-outsources-911-call-center-to-india/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Slutty Looking Chick in Pharmacy Line Probably Refilling Valtrex Prescription</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/28/slutty-looking-chick-in-pharmacy-line-probably-refilling-valtrex-prescription/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/28/slutty-looking-chick-in-pharmacy-line-probably-refilling-valtrex-prescription/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 May 2009 07:56:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Drugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Herpes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pharmacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[STD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Valtrex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1349</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Eden Prairie, MN – Several patrons at a Target pharmacy in suburban Minneapolis silently came to the same conclusion today when they assumed that a slutty looking customer waiting in line at the pharmacy was there to refill her prescription for Valtrex, a drug used in the management of genital herpes. Though the patrons didn’t [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/28/slutty-looking-chick-in-pharmacy-line-probably-refilling-valtrex-prescription/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Spread Eagle Named Official City Bird of Larely</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/21/spread-eagle-named-official-city-bird-of-larely/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/21/spread-eagle-named-official-city-bird-of-larely/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2009 06:27:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bird Flu]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Mall]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Mayor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vern Bixler]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1321</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – Larely residents who packed the atrium of Triplet Pines Mall today for mayor Bixler’s announcement of Larely’s new official city bird were treated to a pleasant surprise today when it was revealed that the spread eagle had won the contest. The announcement was eagerly awaited by nearly all Larely residents and concludes [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/21/spread-eagle-named-official-city-bird-of-larely/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Larely School District Passes “No Child Out in Front Act”</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/07/larely-school-district-passes-no-child-out-in-front-act/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/07/larely-school-district-passes-no-child-out-in-front-act/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 May 2009 06:55:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[School]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[School District]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Teachers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vern Bixler]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1210</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – The city of Larely took a big step toward improving its school system today when it was announced that beginning next year, all public schools will need to act in accordance with the “No Child Out in Front Act”. The legislation, which was co-authored by Larely Mayor Vern Bixler and Superintendent Edgar [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/05/07/larely-school-district-passes-no-child-out-in-front-act/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Larely’s First Annual &#8220;Self Storage Amnesty Day&#8221; a Huge Success</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/04/30/larely%e2%80%99s-first-annual-self-storage-amnesty-day-a-huge-success/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/04/30/larely%e2%80%99s-first-annual-self-storage-amnesty-day-a-huge-success/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Apr 2009 07:24:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Amnesty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crime]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Edgar Allan Poe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self Storage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vern Bixler]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1174</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – Carrying everything from severed heads and limbs to mattresses with the tags removed, citizens of Larely turned out in overwhelming numbers to participate in Larely’s first Annual “Self Storage Amnesty Day” this past Wednesday. The program, which was the brainchild of Larely mayor Vern Bixler, allowed residents of Larely to turn over [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/04/30/larely%e2%80%99s-first-annual-self-storage-amnesty-day-a-huge-success/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Local Porn Star Gives Up Anal Sex for Lent</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/02/26/local-porn-star-gives-up-anal-sex-for-lent/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/02/26/local-porn-star-gives-up-anal-sex-for-lent/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Feb 2009 07:25:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Adult Film Industry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Porn Star]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tate Browncock]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1093</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – Local adult film star Tate Browncock was the focus of attention in the adult film world today when he announced that he would be giving up anal sex for lent this year. Browncock, who didn’t speak with reporters, released a statement through his publicist that said, “Everyone knows that I’m a man [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/02/26/local-porn-star-gives-up-anal-sex-for-lent/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Larely Airlines Announces $15 Surcharge for Well Endowed Male Passengers</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/02/12/larely-airlines-announces-15-surcharge-for-well-endowed-male-passengers/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/02/12/larely-airlines-announces-15-surcharge-for-well-endowed-male-passengers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Feb 2009 07:45:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Adult Film Industry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fees]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Airlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1074</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – In a new example of just how aggressive airline surcharges can be, Larely Airlines announced today that beginning March 1, 2009, they will begin charging a $15 surcharge for well-endowed male passengers. Larely Airlines CEO Don Hayes announced the decision saying, “We’ve let this go for far too long. Not only does [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/02/12/larely-airlines-announces-15-surcharge-for-well-endowed-male-passengers/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Select Comfort to Release New Sleep Number Racecar Bed</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/29/select-comfort-to-release-new-sleep-number-racecar-bed/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/29/select-comfort-to-release-new-sleep-number-racecar-bed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 29 Jan 2009 09:03:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Select Comfort]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=1010</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely,  CA – The Select Comfort mattress company announced today that they will soon begin selling their widely successful Sleep Number beds in a racecar model. The bed, which will retail for around $5000 for a king size mattress, foundation, and frame, will be available as a Lamborghini Countach, Ferrari Testarossa, Lotus Elise, and Chevy [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/29/select-comfort-to-release-new-sleep-number-racecar-bed/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Study: Pontiac Fiero Totally Makes Chicks Wet!</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/22/study-pontiac-fiero-totally-makes-chicks-wet/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/22/study-pontiac-fiero-totally-makes-chicks-wet/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2009 08:39:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fiero]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pontiac]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UC Larely]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=967</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – The Biology Department of UC-Larely made headlines today when Professor Mary Sontenberg released her study that found, without a shred of doubt, that Pontiac Fieros have the ability to totally make chicks wet. The Pontiac Fiero, which was manufactured from 1984 to 1988, has long been rumored to hold a special power [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/22/study-pontiac-fiero-totally-makes-chicks-wet/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Larely Man Feels Better Getting Road Head in Hybrid Car</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/16/larely-man-feels-better-getting-road-head-in-hybrid-car/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/16/larely-man-feels-better-getting-road-head-in-hybrid-car/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Jan 2009 08:29:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Al Gore]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cars]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hybrid car]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NPR]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[road head]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=931</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – Tyler Folwell is a self-proclaimed connoisseur of road head. Over the past ten years, he estimates that’s he received oral sex while driving a car no less than 1,000 times. However, he claims none of those experiences came anywhere close to the feeling of getting road head in his new Toyota Prius [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2009/01/16/larely-man-feels-better-getting-road-head-in-hybrid-car/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Taco Bell Pledges at least 60% Accuracy on Drive-Thru Orders</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/12/17/taco-bell-pledges-at-least-60-accuracy-on-drive-thru-orders/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/12/17/taco-bell-pledges-at-least-60-accuracy-on-drive-thru-orders/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 Dec 2008 02:13:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Drive-Thru]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Taco Bell]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=765</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – In an effort to drastically increase the level of customer service in the fast food industry, fast food chain Taco Bell has announced that they are now pledging at least 60% accuracy in their filling of drive-thru orders. Greg Creed, who is Taco Bell’s President and Chief Concept Officer, spearheaded the movement [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/12/17/taco-bell-pledges-at-least-60-accuracy-on-drive-thru-orders/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>New Edition of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas to be Printed on Blotter Paper</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/12/03/new-edition-of-fear-and-loathing-in-las-vegeas-to-be-printed-on-blotter-paper/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/12/03/new-edition-of-fear-and-loathing-in-las-vegeas-to-be-printed-on-blotter-paper/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:28:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Acid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Drugs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fear & Loathing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hunter S. Thompson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=670</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – In an effort to inject some more fun back into reading, Larely based book publishing company Flashback Publishing announced that they will begin selling an edition of the classic Hunter S. Thompson novel, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas that will be printed entirely on blotter paper and perforated into ½ inch [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/12/03/new-edition-of-fear-and-loathing-in-las-vegeas-to-be-printed-on-blotter-paper/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Larely’s Boxcar Liquors Prepping for Annual Black Friday Surge</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/26/larely-boxcar-liquors-prepping-for-annual-black-friday-surge/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/26/larely-boxcar-liquors-prepping-for-annual-black-friday-surge/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 Nov 2008 10:37:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alcohol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Black Friday]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Boxcar Liquors]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=635</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA &#8211; With black Friday upon us once again, Larely’s Boxcar Liquors is stocking up for what is typically its busiest day of the year. As usual, Boxcar Liquors will open at 5AM and will be slashing prices on malt liquor, box wine, ice brewed beer, Boone’s Farm wines, and flavored rubbing alcohols. With [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/26/larely-boxcar-liquors-prepping-for-annual-black-friday-surge/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Alleged Assassin Acquitted Because Middle Name Too Lame</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/19/alleged-assassin-cleared-because-middle-name-too-lame/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/19/alleged-assassin-cleared-because-middle-name-too-lame/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:09:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Assassination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Mayor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Smokin' Poles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Strip Club]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=597</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – Peter Nate Herbert was acquitted in the assassination of former Larely mayor Rich Rundell today because jurors felt that his middle name was just “too lame” for him to have actually assassinated anyone. The acquittal comes as somewhat of a surprise as Mayor Rundell was killed with a bullet fired from a [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/19/alleged-assassin-cleared-because-middle-name-too-lame/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Wunderkind Internet Commenter Able to Tie Any Subject Back to &#8220;Bangin’ Your Mom&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/12/wunderkind-internet-commenter-able-to-tie-any-subject-back-to-bangin-your-mom/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/12/wunderkind-internet-commenter-able-to-tie-any-subject-back-to-bangin-your-mom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 12 Nov 2008 16:50:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GM]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Internet Comments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wunderkind]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=543</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – By all appearances, Evan Norris is a completely average six year old. He loves dinosaurs, wants to be a fireman or an astronaut when he grows up, and he still occasionally wets the bed. However, underneath his average exterior Evan possesses a truly special gift that he frequently calls upon to light [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/12/wunderkind-internet-commenter-able-to-tie-any-subject-back-to-bangin-your-mom/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Voter Turnout in Larely Increases to Record 8% of Eligible Voters</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/05/voter-turnout-in-larely-increases-to-record-8-of-eligible-voters/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/05/voter-turnout-in-larely-increases-to-record-8-of-eligible-voters/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:43:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Boxcar Liquors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Election]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely City Council]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Mayor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[President]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Voters]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=511</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – A new voter turnout record was set in Larely yesterday as voters came out to the polls in droves today to take part in the 2008 elections. While an increase wasn’t completely unexpected, no one in Larely expected it to be this large. Numbers from the ballot boxes show that 8% of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/11/05/voter-turnout-in-larely-increases-to-record-8-of-eligible-voters/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Strip Club Modifies Fire Sprinkler to Rain Down $1 Bills</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/10/29/strip-club-modifies-fire-sprinkler-to-rain-down-1-bills/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/10/29/strip-club-modifies-fire-sprinkler-to-rain-down-1-bills/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Oct 2008 20:41:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Make it Rain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Smokin' Poles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Strip Club]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=476</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Larely, CA – Smokin’ Poles, one of Larely’s many strip clubs, announced today that they have modified their fire sprinkler that sits above “Sniffers’ Row” so that it will now rain down $1 bills. The move comes in response to the surge in popularity of “makin’ it rain”, a process in which a strip club [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/10/29/strip-club-modifies-fire-sprinkler-to-rain-down-1-bills/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Larely Police Officer Feels Naked Without Plant Gun</title>
		<link>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/10/22/larely-police-officer-feels-naked-without-plant-gun/</link>
		<comments>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/10/22/larely-police-officer-feels-naked-without-plant-gun/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Oct 2008 20:42:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Phil Buckridge</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Larely Police]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sean McKay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thread White and Blue]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.larelybeagle.com/?p=393</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today’s shift turned out to be a stressful one for Larely Police Officer Sean McKay, as he realized twenty minutes into his shift that he had forgotten his plant gun at home. The gun, a .38 caliber snub nosed pistol, which McKay always carries in case he accidentally shoots and kills someone and needs to [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.larelybeagle.com/2008/10/22/larely-police-officer-feels-naked-without-plant-gun/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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