Outside the Tasty Freeze, Heartland, USA – In a depressing sign of just how bad the economy has gotten, John Mellencamp announced today that these current economic times are just too depressing for even him to sing about.
Detroit, MI – Designers at General Motors announced today that they are working hard on developing a new car that will run entirely on burning $100 bills.
Chatsworth District, Los Angeles, CA – The pharmaceutical industry is expected to be caught up in a wave of negative publicity today after the Fluffers Union of America filed a lawsuit against Pfizer, the maker of Viagra.
Hollywood, CA – In a showing of just how well the American public can hold grudges, Patrick Muldoon, the actor who played Jeff on “Saved by the Bell”, received a piece of hate mail for the 6,102nd consecutive day.
Larely, CA – Jam-Band Parking Lot Economists announced their worry today about the value of marijuana steadily weakening against the value of a Widespread Panic concert ticket. They fear this weakening could upset the very delicate nature of the “drugs for goods” trading system that has been keeping the jam band tour industry afloat since [...]
Surrey, VA. – In an effort to solve a strange, real life botanical mystery, botanists have flocked to the property previously owned by Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick to try and figure out what could be causing an abundance of red ferns to be growing on the property.
Memphis, TN – Less than two months after signing a multi-year deal with the Memphis Grizzlies, O.J. Mayo held a press conference yesterday to publicly announce his disappointment that the deal will actually result in a pay cut from what he was making at USC.
