Overcrowded Prisons Force Early Release of Carmen Sandiego
Valley State Prison for Women, Chowchilla, CA – The California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation was forced to grant an early release to super villain Camern Sandiego today after an influx of new prisoners caused the prison to exceed its maximum capacity.
Sandiego, who was sentenced to 50 years in 1996 for pulling a scam in Scandinavia, was one of 100 or so inmates to be released. Warden Tina Hornbeak said the decision was a tough one, but Carmen had been a model prisoner during her incarceration. According to Hornbeak, Sandiego tutored other inmates in geography and also helped many inmates obtain their GED’s. Furthermore, according to the parole board, she was evaluated as “not likely to reoffend”.
The news was deflating to the ACME Detective Agency, as they had years of time and manpower invested in capturing her. According to “The Chief”, “We chased after her for years. Though we could never prove it, we know she stole the Seoul from South Korea, stole the beans from Lima, ransacked Pakistan, and pickpocketed Perth. The California D.O.C. releasing her is a grievous error and will prove to be very expensive, as I know we’ll be linking her to thefts and trying to track her down within a matter of days.”
Many people suspect “The Chief” will be proven correct, as it’s commonly held that Sandiego’s apprehension was a bit of a fluke. She was taken down by an entry level gumshoe who was somehow able to answer a tough question after wagering 50 crimebucks, found the loot, the warrant, and the crook in his first turn, and then properly identified eight geographic locations in Europe. Also lending a hand was a Sandiego associate named RoboCrook, who allegedly ratted out Sandiego after his apprehension. He was shivved in prison two days later.
Sandiego walked out of prison to find a group of reporters waiting for her. She didn’t answer any specific questions, but told them, “I’ve had a lot of time to reflect upon the things that I’ve done. I realize, that a lot of people will still see me as that sticky fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize, and it’s now my job to prove them wrong.” She then hopped into a waiting van that was occupied by her V.I.L.E. friends Eartha Brute, Top Grunge, and Vick the Slick, and sped off.
Now that she’s been released, Sandiego has twenty four hours to report to her parole officer. As part of her parole agreement, she’s not allowed to travel to any historical landmarks and must surrender her passport to authorities.
