Larry King Wins People Mag’s Inaugural “Hottest Shoulders in Show Business” Award
Los Angeles, CA – Television host Larry King received another award to add to his lengthy list of career accolades today when it was revealed that he had won People Magazine’s inaugural “hottest shoulders in show business award”.
King, who was born Lawrence Harvey Zeiger, may seem like an unlikely candidate at first. However once he sits down at his desk and finds his usual position, any doubts are quickly erased. According to senior supervising producer Tim Scowden, “When Larry gets into position, his shoulders come up almost further than his ears. It’s an amazing sight to behold, and I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing it since 2002.”
King himself was also very excited about the award, telling reporters, “It’s always a great feeling to win an award. This trophy is going right up on my mantle and will sit right next to my Emmy, two Peabody Awards, and my ten Cable ACE awards.”
King also felt it was important to dispel rumors that his shoulders were simply a gift from god and not something he has actively improved or maintained. “I’ve poured years of hard work into these babies. A lot of people assume that I’m just slumping forward when I conduct interviews, but if they were to look under my desk they’d realize that I’m actually suspending my entire body off the ground. For the entire hour my show is on, no part of my lower body actually touches the ground. A lot of personal trainers equate it to a gymnast holding the iron cross on the rings for an hour.”
The award isn’t without controversy, however, as there are many people out there that believe King is hiding a dark secret when it comes to his shoulders. According to numerous people that were at one time associated with the show, King has a secret team of production assistants come in and ratchet down his suspenders every day. Over time, the extreme tightness of the suspenders have simply worn grooves in his collar bone, and those grooves in-turn make his shoulders look even more prominent.
King’s attorneys called the speculation “laughable” and said they would be looking to file suit against anyone who slanders Larry’s shoulders.
