Larely HMO’s To Now Only Cover Dr. McGillicuddy
Larely, CA – Health insurance giant Aetna made big news in Larely today when they announced sweeping changes to their Larely HMO network. In a letter sent to all local members, Aetna Chairman and CEO Ronald Williams wrote that “Effective immediately, our HMO’s will only cover Dr. McGillicuddy.”
The decision is expected to save the company millions upon millions of dollars and could also have profound effects on health care across the nation, as other health insurance companies will undoubtedly look to implement similar policies if the McGillicuddy plan proves to be successful.
In addition to announcing the change, the letter also hoped to quell any concerns that could arise. Williams went on to say, “I realize for many of you, the biggest concern is the fact that our new HMO network has only one doctor. While I can understand and appreciate these concerns, you will be pleased to know that Dr. McGillicuddy is board certified in five different areas: mentholmint-iatrics, cherry-enterology, vanilla-crinology, lemon drop-pedics, and peach-iology, so you can rest assured that whatever particular ailment you suffer from, Dr. McGillicuddy will have it covered. In fact, the only area Dr. McGillicuddy refuses to work in is with liver disease, as he’s so far been unable to prove whether or not any of them actually exist.”
In Aetna’s mind, the program’s success is not a matter of “if”, but rather “when”. A spokesperson for Aetna said “Many people are used to the HMO paradigm of seeing your primary care doctor and needing him to refer you on to a specialist. With Dr. McGillicuddy, you get the primary care doc, and the specialist all rolled into one. Who wouldn’t want that? No one. And that’s why we expect big things from this new policy.”
The move will also undoubtedly have an impact on St. Eligius, Larely’s largest hospital and healthcare provider. It is estimated that they provide healthcare to nearly 95% of Larely’s population and losing the business from these HMO’s could prove disastrous. According to Dr. Donald Westphall “Taking all this business and sending it over to one of our largest competitors could prove to be too much for this hospital to take. If we were forced to close our door, I honestly don’t know how the city of Larely could survive.”
