Joe Mauer Legally Changes First Name to “Jock”
Minneapolis, MN – In what could signal a growing trend of athletes changing their names, Minnesota Twins All-Star catcher Joe Mauer announced that he has legally changed his first name to “Jock”.
The name change comes on the heels of what was undoubtedly the best month of his career, as during May, the beautifully sideburned Jock with the delicate features of a model and body of a Greek God hit .414 with 11 HR, 32 RBI and a 1.338 OPS. He is also expected to be voted the American League’s player of the month.
The move caught a lot of people in the baseball community off guard, as Mauer is almost as well known for being a humble stud as he is for being a super jock.
However, Mauer was quick to mention that the move was not made out of arrogance. “I know some people will be quick to criticize me as arrogant for this move, but that’s not why I did this.” Joe said. “I did this because Joe is my name, but being a Jock is who I am. When I played for Cretin [Cretin-Durham Hall High School], I excelled at football, basketball, and baseball. As many of you know, in addition to being the number one pick of the 2001 draft [ed. Note: Suck it, Mark Prior], I was also named ‘National Quarterback of the Year’ and offered a scholarship to play quarterback at Florida State. Frankly, the only reason I was able to accomplish any of those things is because I’m a jock, and the name change is just a way for me to embrace what I am.”
Mauer also went on to say that this was not a spur of the moment decision. “I thought about doing it after my first batting title, but decided it’d be best to establish a little more baseball credibility first. I came even closer to doing it after my second batting title, but didn’t want the hassle of all the paper work. But, after this past May, I decided, what the hell, I’ll do it.”
Among the many offering their support of Jock’s decision was Peter Gammons of ESPN’s “Baseball Tonight”. According to Gammons, “Joe, I mean Jock, is a once in a generation talent. Sure he gets a lot of accolades for his offensive prowess, but what people often forget is that he’s one of the best defensive catchers in the game. Plus, he handles his young pitching staff with the perfect balance of mother’s touch and a coach’s tough love. He’s earned the right be called anything he wants.”
Chad Ochocinco [formerly Chad Johnson], a WR for the NFL’s Cincinnati Bengals and another high profile athlete who has legally changed his name, paid Mauer the ultimate compliment, saying, “Ochocinco wishes Jock had stuck with football so he could be throwing TD’s to 8-5.”
