Larely Man Feels Better Getting Road Head in Hybrid Car
Larely, CA – Tyler Folwell is a self-proclaimed connoisseur of road head. Over the past ten years, he estimates that’s he received oral sex while driving a car no less than 1,000 times. However, he claims none of those experiences came anywhere close to the feeling of getting road head in his new Toyota Prius for the first time.
“It wasn’t so much that the head was better, because it was average at best.” he said, “But, it was more just the overwhelming feeling of environmental responsibility I got from driving a hybrid. Just knowing that I’m reducing my carbon footprint is enough to make me hard, and the road head I get while doing it… that just takes it to a whole new level. It’s like in Plato’s Allegory of the Cave… When I had a normal car, I was just looking at a shadow of road head thinking it was the real thing. Then, when I got the Prius, I was permitted to stand up and leave the cave and now I’ve experienced road head in its full glory.”
Folwell will be the first to admit he hasn’t always been this environmentally conscious. “In my younger days, I’d just drive around aimlessly while whatever girl I had picked up that night was pleasuring me. Sure, it was nice, but if the girl wasn’t very good at it, it may take 30-45 minutes to complete the task. Looking back on it now, that’s a lot of carbon dioxide I was putting into the atmosphere for no good reason. The responsible thing probably would have been to just pull into the parking lot of Popeye’s and let them finish it off there. However, I knew the girls would always be hitting me up to buy them some biscuits afterward, so I just kept driving.”
Folwell attributes his change of heart to the time he was getting road head and the girl he was with accidentally bumped the “seek” button on the car’s radio. As he recalls it, “The radio finally stopped on NPR, where they were re-running an “All Things Considered” episode that talked about Al Gore’s movie “An Inconvenient Truth”. By the end of the segment, I had both blown my load and sworn that I was going to be proactive about reducing my carbon footprint. It was either give up road head or get a hybrid car. Less than 24 hours later, this Prius was mine.”
The Prius is a mid-size hybrid electric car made by Toyota, and its newest model will be able to go upwards of 50 miles on one gallon of gasoline.
