The Larely Beagle – The Community Newspaper of Larely, California

Paris, France – Daft Punk fans everywhere were saddened today when it was announced that a glitch in Windows Vista that prevents PC’s from running the software program Ableton Live 7 would be forcing them to cancel their Spring 2009 tour.

The French electronic music duo, which consists of musicians Thomas Bangalter and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo, shot to international success with songs like “Harder Better Faster Stronger”, “Da Funk”, “Around the World”, and “One More Time”.  They have been nominated for multiple Grammy Awards and have a sound readily identifiable as their own.  Unfortunately, that distinct sound has been created entirely in Ableton Live software programs.

Bangalter, who was clearly still livid with the glitch said, “All of our songs are run through that software, and every time we try to fire up the program on our PC laptops, we get the blue screen of death.  We’ve spent countless hours talking with Windows Vista tech support, but we aren’t getting anywhere. As a result, we have no choice but to cancel our tour.  I’d like to apologize to the fans at this time, but there’s nothing more that we can do.”

Bangalter’s bandmate, Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo echoed the same sentiments saying, “When we went on the Alive 2007 tour, we were running XP and we never had any problems.  Then, all of the sudden, Vista comes out and we can’t get a damn thing to work on them.  It doesn’t matter which version of Ableton Live we’re running, none of them work.  4.0, 5.0, 7… Vista crashes when any of them are launched.”

Homem-Christo was also asked about the possibility of switching over to Macs, to which he replied, “We’ve thought about switching to Macs for a while now, unfortunately, neither of us can stand Justin Long [the Mac guy in Apple’s TV commercials] and we feel like switching over to Macs would be selling out our beliefs.”

When reached for comment, Microsoft representatives suggested running the program in Windows Mojave.  They then burst into laughter saying, “Just kidding, Windows Mojave IS Windows Vista, just without all the preconceived negative notions!  We just encourage people to do that so they can decide for themselves.”

Though extremely disheartened by the situation, Daft Punk remains vigilant and has vowed to resume touring as soon as the glitch is fixed or as soon as Microsoft releases a new version of Windows.