GM Developing Car that Will Run Entirely on Burning $100 Bills
Detroit, MI – Designers at General Motors announced today that they are working hard on developing a new car that will run entirely on burning $100 bills.
The car, slated to be named the Chevy Prodigal, will require only four $100 bills be burned to travel one mile, and GM is expecting it to give the American automobile industry the shake up it needs to return to the forefront of automobile technology.
“It’s a fact that fossil fuels will run out.” said GM’s CEO G. Richard Wagoner, Jr. “That’s why General Motors is hard at work on developing the next generation of automobiles. Our scientists and engineers have been working around the clock to develop a new type of automobile that can run entirely on burning $100 bills. Not only will this new type of car help to eliminate our dependence on foreign oil, we feel that it will also push General Motors right back to the front of the pack in terms of sales. Plus, with no need for ethanol, American farmers can go back to growing corn for food, not for fuel.”
The idea is entirely Wagoner’s brainchild, and was hatched when he was aboard his 120 foot yacht, the S.S. Golden Parachute. “I was sitting on the bow of the boat smoking a Cuban cigar and enjoying a fine glass of Louis Roederer, Cristal Brut 1990, when suddenly I became very cold. I noticed I had ten or twelve $100 bills in my pocket, so rather than get up to go get my jacket, I figured I’d just use my cigar lighter to set the bills ablaze. As I warmed my hands over the mesmerizing orange glow, the idea hit me like a ton of bricks… if we could power cars this way, the rising gas prices wouldn’t matter! When I got back from my trip three weeks later, I took the idea straight to research and development and told them to get cracking on it.”
Wagoner estimates that the engine is about fifteen weeks away from completion, and if the project is finished within that timetable, the first cars would begin rolling off the assembly line in early June.
He also estimated that GM would make enough money from pre-orders of the Chevy Prodigal to expand production into SUV’s and Trucks that feature the same engine type.
