The Larely Beagle – The Community Newspaper of Larely, California

Cleveland, OH – Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn became the center of attention in the Browns’ locker room today after he became extremely angry at a group of reporters, slammed an EAS Myoplex shake and declared the Browns’ season “done”.

Quinn, who was standing around his locker fielding questions from reporters, was obviously frustrated about being bombarded with questions about last Thursday’s demoralizing loss to the Denver Broncos.

The situation boiled over when one reporter asked Quinn if he still believed the Browns to be the odds-on favorite to represent the AFC in Super Bowl XLIII. Quinn stared at the reporter, then reached into his locker. He grabbed a Myoplex shake, opened it, and began slamming it. After a few seconds, he paused from the shake and yelled, “No matter how demanding our schedule is, our sesason won’t be done until I finish it with this EAS Myoplex. Taken within thirty minutes after another terrible practice, the high quality protein in Myoplex helps me to refuel and officially throw in the towel for us. That way I don’t waste any more of our time.” He immediately got up from his locker, and stormed off. After two or three steps, he took the last sip of his shake, threw the empty container on the floor, turned to reporters and said, “Now we’re done.”

While it comes as a shock to hear a player admit defeat publicly, many critics agree with Quinn’s assertion. Especially after last week’s loss to the Broncos in which the Browns gave up 21 fourth-quarter points and played so poorly down the stretch that starting running back Jamal Lewis publicly stated that he believed players had quit during the game.

Making matters even worse, the Browns began the season with high expectations before sinking back into the rut of total disappointment. Starting quarterback Derek Anderson has been benched in favor of Quinn, starting Tight End Kellen Winslow has missed time because of a Staph infection in his surgically repaired knee, and pro-bowl wide receiver Braylon Edwards, who had 16 TD’s and almost 1300 receiving yards last year, is leading the league in dropped passes. They are currently 3-6 and only the hapless Cincinnati Bengals are behind them in their division.

Quinn’s agent, Tom Condon, tried to downplay the issue by saying that his client was taken out of context and that Quinn would definitely not be making an apology. Condon also said that Quinn wanted people to know that they can “grab your EAS myoplex at a leading retailer near you, or to go eas.com for a free sample.”