Voter Turnout in Larely Increases to Record 8% of Eligible Voters
Larely, CA – A new voter turnout record was set in Larely yesterday as voters came out to the polls in droves today to take part in the 2008 elections.
While an increase wasn’t completely unexpected, no one in Larely expected it to be this large. Numbers from the ballot boxes show that 8% of eligible voters turned out to vote, almost doubling the 4% from the previous elections in 2004 and 2006.
Election judges were ecstatic all across Larely County. “This is what democracy is all about” said Joyce Dahl, who was volunteering at a polling station located in an abandoned building that was once home to a Mr. Bulky candy store. “Everyone knows that the most important thing a U.S. citizen can do is vote, and the people of Larely really took that to heart today. It really renewed my faith in the residents of Larely. They turned out in record numbers to show that they really want to make a difference in this world.”
While analysts say that voters hungry for change played a role in the record turnout, they are also giving much of the credit to Sherm Littlefield, who owns Larely’s Boxcar Liquors. Littlefield was offering a free airplane bottle of liquor to anyone wearing an “I Voted” sticker, and he said the redemption rate was “through the roof… especially in the 18-20 age group”.
The record turnout also proved to have little impact on the presidential election as nearly every vote cast in that race was a write-in. However, that did not hold true for local races, where the incumbents proved successful. Both city council positions up for election this year were won in landslides by the incumbent candidates, Tex Snyder and Remy Tarpley.
Those results came as a surprise to some in Larely, as both Snyder and Tarpley are currently being investigated for allegedly embezzling city funds and using them to run a brothel out of Tarpley’s brother’s house.
Though the evidence against the two of them is overwhelming, they have both denied any wrongdoing and have publicly stated they believe the charges are a “bush league smear job being perpetrated against us by those [expletives deleted] Josephine Rousseau and Margaret Van Walden.” Rousseau and Van Walden are also members of the Larely City Council. Tarpley went on to add that both Rousseau and Van Walden could “[expletive deleted] his [expletive deleted]”.
Larely Mayor Vern Bixler was also thrilled with the news and ordered that all businesses in Larely stay closed on November 5th, 2008 so that the new record could be properly celebrated with a parade down Larely Parkway.
