The Larely Beagle – The Community Newspaper of Larely, California

Princeton, NJ – In a complete and utter rogue act, a rogue doctor used his rogueness to solve a rogue medical mystery and save a patient’s life at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital earlier today.

The patient had seen numerous doctors all along the east coast, but none of them were able to give her a specific diagnosis. As her health continued to deteriorate, she heard from a friend of a friend that there was a rogue doctor in Princeton, NJ with a reputation as a rogue genius. With nowhere else to turn, she took her friend’s advice and was transferred to New Jersey.

During her first visit with him, the rogue doctor made it clear that his methods were rogue and that he calls all his shots based on his gut feelings, which are also always rogue.

To further assert his rogueness, the doctor was also a complete dick to the patient. He repeatedly tough talked her and accused her of lying. He then took the hospital’s helicopter to fly to her house in Rhode Island so that he could dig through all of her possessions. Upon returning, he popped a few Vicodin, strolled roguely into the patient’s room to ask her a few more questions, implied that she was a slut, and then left the room.

After roguely deliberating on the facts for a little while longer, the rogue doctor had his “eureka” moment and was able to diagnose the rogue medical mystery and knew exactly what procedure needed to be done. Though his procedure was dangerous, ethically wrong, and opposed by all of his superiors at the hospital, the rogue doctor dug deep into his vat of rogueness and cured the patient of a rare and potentially fatal rogue disease.

Despite a grim prognosis only days previous, the patient made a complete recovery and is now seeing life in a whole new light while always silently paying homage to the rogue doctor that roguely saved her life.