Original Whizzinator Reaches Agreement to Sponsor Cycling Team for Tour de France
The Tour de France bicycle race gained another team for its 2009 race today when they announced that they had reached a team-sponsorship agreement with Puck Technology, the company who manufactures the Original Whizzinator.
The Original Whizzinator, which is a product that uses a prosthetic penis to defeat drug tests, has long been looking for an opportunity to land a big time sponsorship position. After doing countless hours of research, they felt that the Tour de France was that opportunity. Puck Technology’s president Gerald Willis hailed the partnership saying that it was “a match made in heaven”.
While the exact amount paid by Puck Technology is being kept private, many experts believe that they will make all of it back and then some by selling the Original Whizzinator back to cyclists that will use it to pass drug tests after every stage of the race. The kits, which retail for about $165, include an Original Whizzinator prosthetic penis (available in white, tan, latino, brown, and black), a packet of synthetic urine, and heat pads to keep that synthetic urine around body temperature.
The sponsorship announcement also set off a frenzy among cyclists who have failed drug tests in the past, but are looking to make their comeback as part of Team Whizzinator. Early members of the team include Belgium’s Tom Boonen (cocaine), Italy’s Riccardo Ricco (EPO), and Argentina’s Maximiliano Richeze (Stanazol).
Another member of the team is the Czech Republic’s Ondrej Sosenka, who currently holds the record for furthest distance traveled on a bike in one hour (49.7 km, 30.882 mi) and recently tested positive for methamphetamine. He said that when he found out about the team, it was some of the best news he had ever heard. “When I failed that test, which I have no idea how it happened, I thought my career would be over. Luckily for cycling, Gerald Willis and Puck Technology have stepped up and started their own team that believes in second chances.”
Willis also announced that Floyd Landis, the disgraced American cyclist who was stripped of his 2006 Tour de France victory (excess testosterone) has been offered the position as team captain and is mulling it over.
The Whizzinator which has been on the market since 2003, was a relatively unknown product among people taking drug tests until 2005, when former Minnesota Vikings [American Football] running back Onterrio Smith was caught with one at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport. Also adding to its popularity was actor Tom Sizemore, who was caught using one while taking a court ordered drug test.
