Severe Weather Alert on Radio Mistaken for Avant Garde Noise Band
Larely, CA – As Mark Dufferman pulled up to Larely’s “Ground the Clock” coffee shop to work on his screenplay, he turned up 88.3 FM [KHIP], to catch the first few seconds of the new single “Colonial Nepotism” by avant-garde noise band, Strepitant Hebetude. After about ten seconds of controlled head nodding with his eyes closed, he turned off the car and went inside.
Had he listened for a few seconds more, however, he would have realized it was actually a severe weather alert that was warning of a mudslide in northern Larely County, an area that was scarred from last year’s wildfires.
Oblivious to the mistake, Dufferman entered the coffee shop and immediately asked his favorite barista if he had been listening to the same song. The barista told Dufferman that the store radio was turned to a station warning about the mudslides. Dufferman immediately told him, “Ah, man, you’ve got to hear that thing. Its overly simplistic intro blows me away every time I hear it. If I had to guess, I’m guessing they do it to try and convey the difficult experiences of their autonomous upbringing in suburban America. A lot of it is stuff I’ve never heard mixed together before. But if I had to describe them, I guess to me, they feel like Einstürzende Neubauten crossed with Wolf Eyes with a little bit of the Arab on Radar sprinkled on top for good measure.”
As the barista continued to serve other customers, Dufferman continuted, “A lot of people are getting into them I think, I just hope they don’t get so popular that I don’t end up seeing that shit in a minivan commercial or something. Though, it might be kind of cool if Monday Night Football used it in one of those outro montages they do when they go to commercial. But other than that, I’d just hate to see their artistic integrity compromised.”
After taking two steps away from the counter, Dufferman turned around and added, “Hey, I think they’re playing at the Strap’ [Larely music venue the Strapleton Theater] here in a few weeks. I can pick us up some tickets if you’d like.”
The barista replied that he was pretty sure he had to work that night, but that it sounded like it’d be a sweet show. Dufferman agreed that it was a bummer, but said he had also heard that the band was pretty lenient toward tapers in the audience and that he’d try to find a BitTorrent of the show so he could burn it and bring it in.
After the barista replied, “Yeah, sweet”, Dufferman grabbed his cup of coffee and replied, “It’d be awesome if we could play it in the store too. That way we’d build up the fan base a little more. Plus, then maybe I’d finally be inspired enough to get through Act 1 of this screenplay.”
