The Larely Beagle – The Community Newspaper of Larely, California

Washington, D.C. – In a move that is sure to send a shockwave across the communications industry, the FCC announced today that they have revoked WGN’s Superstation license. 

According to a report filed by FCC Chairman Kevin J. Martin, the revocation stems WGN’s failure to comply with numerous FCC guidelines required of a Superstation.

Specifically outlined in the report was WGN’s failure to:

1)  Air the movie “Road House” twelve times a week

2)  Never air episodes of “America’s Funniest Home Videos hosted by Daisy Fuentes and John Fugelsang.

3) Never, under any circumstance, air an infomercial made by anyone other than Popeil Industries.

4)  Ensure that the amount of air time given to Jean-Claude Van Damme movies in one month was at least ten times greater than the amount of air time given to news and current event programming in that same time frame.

5) Air Wilford Brimley’s commercial for Liberty Medical Diabetes Testing Supplies on every third commercial break.

Also according to the report, the FCC was initially willing to settle this matter quietly and without revocation of WGN’s Superstation license. However, they changed their mind and felt stronger action was necessary after they began airing episodes of “Nash Bridges”.

When pressed for comment, FCC Chairman Kevin J. Martin said, “While I realize that this decision may seem sudden and excessive, WGN was given multiple notices over the past 90 days that they were in direct violation of multiple Superstation statutes.  They chose not to comply, and then went a step further and slapped us in the face by beginning to air episodes of ‘Nash Bridges’, or ‘Nielsen Kryptonite’ as we at the FCC like to call it. Because of this, the FCC felt that the only option left was the drastic measure of stripping them of their Superstation status.”

WGN was granted a Superstation license in 2001 and was the third network to receive the honor behind TNT and TBS.  In compliance with the order, they’ve already begun changing everything over to their new name, “WGN America”.

At this point, it’s unclear whether the FCC will appoint another Superstation to replace WGN or if they will continue forward with just TNT and TBS.  Repeated calls to the FCC offices regarding this matter went unreturned.  However, many media experts are speculating that the FCC will indeed grant another Superstation license, as expanded basic cable will be now be unable to fill America’s broadcasting needs.  They also believe that, should this occur, F/X is the most likely option, as their programming schedule already closely mimics that of an authentic Superstation.