Today's Lead Story
U.S. Flags to Fly at Half Staff in Honor of Corey Haim
Washington, D.C. – President Obama issued an executive order today for United States’ flag to be flown at half staff for the next thirty days to both mourn the loss and respect the memory of actor Corey Haim, who passed away this past Wednesday.
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World
Japanese Whaling Fleet Kills Twitter Fail Whale»
San Francisco, CA – Social networking and micro-blogging giant Twitter was dealt a major blow today when their iconic and often used “fail whale”, which alerted Twitter users of temporary outages, was caught and killed by a Japanese whaling ship off the coast of Antarctica.
The tragic news was announced this morning by Twitter CEO Evan [...]
Television
Dos Equis Guy Fired After Being Photographed Wearing Crocs»
Monterrey, Nuevo León, Mexico – A successful advertising campaign for Dos Equis beer was derailed today when it was announced that their “Most Interesting Man in the World” spokesman was let go after he was photographed wearing Crocs.
Local News
Unused Trial Hours from AOL Discs in Landfills Now Contaminating Nation’s Drinking Water»
Larely, CA – A study completed by UC Larely’s Chemistry Department yielded alarming results when it was discovered that drinking water all over America is being contaminated by the unused free trial hours from AOL discs.
Movies
Kevin Costner Earns Asterisk After Admitting He Juiced for “Bull Durham”»
Beverly Hills, CA – The American Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was forced to hand down a harsh punishment to one of its Oscar winning directors this week when Kevin Costner* revealed that he had used illegal steroids to prepare for his role as Crash Davis in the 1988 film “Bull Durham”.
Sports
Michael Vick Agrees to $100 Million Endorsement Deal With Kleenex Brand»
Philadelphia, PA – With Michael Vick’s recent release from a federal prison in Leavenworth, many advertising executives have been waiting with bated breath to see if any companies out there that would be willing to give the once popular football star a second chance at endorsing products.
