Today's Lead Story

Kate Middleton Will Wear Christian Audigier Designed Ed Hardy Gown at Wedding

London, England – Ending days of speculation about who will design her wedding gown when she marries Prince William next year, Kate Middleton announced today that she will be wearing a Christian Audigier designed Ed Hardy gown down the aisle.

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UC-Larely to Open Rehab Center Specializing in Fame Addiction»

Larely, CA – As an institution perpetually at the forefront of healthcare technology, UC-Larely put even more distance between themselves and their competitors today when they announced that they would be opening a rehabilitation center to treat individuals who are struggling with an addiction to fame.

Costly Clerical Error Results in European Union Bailing Out “Grease”, the Musical»

Frankfurt, Germany – Clerical errors continue to wreak havoc across the globe this week. Just days after a clerical error caused the Dow Jones to plummet over 400 points in less than five minutes, a similar error resulted in the European Central Bank giving $100 billion in funds to “Grease”, the musical instead of Greece, [...]

Doctor: Bret Michaels’ Brain Hemorrhage Brought on by Years of Bandana Abuse»

Phoenix, AZ – After making a miraculous recovery from a brain hemorrhage suffered in late April, former Poison front-man Bret Michaels blew even more minds today when it was revealed that his near fatal hemorrhage was caused by years upon years of bandana abuse.

Hustler, Larry Flynt to be Featured on Upcoming Episode of “Undercover Boss”»

Los Angeles, CA – CBS Network’s hit television show “Undercover Boss” generated some serious buzz today when it was announced that Larry Flynt and his “Hustler” brand would be the featured in an upcoming episode.

Arizona Police Arrest Steve Nash After He is Unable to Present Proper Alien Registration Documents»

Phoenix, AZ – Phoenix Suns point guard Steve Nash felt the squeeze of Arizona’s new Immigration Bill (SB 1070) today when he was arrested in Phoenix today after being unable to provide proper Alien Registration Documents to police during a routine traffic stop.